I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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