My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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