I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
