So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
