All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
