bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's no shave November. This is our time.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
