She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
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What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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