When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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