Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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