My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
