I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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