he wants to bone in the snuggie
where does the pee come out of this thing
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There's always time for handjobs
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
