all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
