Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
