The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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