It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
