I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
