the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
