There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
