Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
