you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
