i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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