Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
