update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
