Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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