Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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