He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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