We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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