I want to make a zoo with you.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Two words: blizzard sex
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
