Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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