So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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