woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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