I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
