there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
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