I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
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I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
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I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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