im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
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Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
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So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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