just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
3 2 1 whiskey
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
