i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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