"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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