You really coming over, don't trick.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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