my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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