So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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