just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
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I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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