please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
