I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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