you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
