Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
this is an emotional support booty call
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
