Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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