Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize