I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
