I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
