official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
