I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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