Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
