The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize