Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
