he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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