he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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