I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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