She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
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Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
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Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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