he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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