I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
