I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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