I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Boobs speak an international language.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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