for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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