i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize