Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
