Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
