my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Randomize
