i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
How drunk are you?
Completed.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
