YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
