you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Is it penis luge time yet?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
